Photo credit: sleekimages.net
What is(was) your professional/stage/working name?
Miss Maggie Mayhem
What city(ies) do you work in now (if you’re still working), or did you work in (if no longer working in the sex industry)?
Bay Area, California
How old are you now?
24
At what age did you engage in your first professional sexual experience?
19
Describe your first professional sexual experience, including what happened, how you felt, what you were thinking, how you felt afterward.
Technically, my first time doing sex work didn’t involve sex at all. I was filling in for a pro-domme who was taking me on as an apprentice. Double-booked, she had me take one of her clients with simple needs: a spanking and some basic talking down during the session while she worked with someone who needed a true professional who could handle a single tail whip. I was nervous- I had never done a solo session before and the whole notion of sex work was still very new to me. I was 19 years old and just starting university. I knew my paycheck would go to my college expenses. I did have monetary reasons for initially doing sex work, but my motivations forced me to change many of my ideas about sex workers.
I have since moved on to live fetish and bondage performances, nude modeling, fetish photography, and pornography. I suppose some could call it a slippery slope, but for me it was about learning about myself. When I took my hand to a client for the first time, I was forced to throw out every single notion of a sex worker I possessed. At the time I thought I was liberal about sex work. I knew that it should be legal (or at the very least decriminalized) but I always thought of it as a last resort or a painful and difficult experience for a woman to go through. As I began my apprenticeship for professional domination and took on my first professional sex job I had a lot of fun. I realized that I was applying the psychology and anthropology I was learning about in text books in ways I never thought possible. I was expanding my mind and understanding basic concepts in whole new ways. I also knew that the money I was making was going to help me with my education.
Unfortunately for some, sex work is not about choice, skill, or talent sets and that this is a terrible injustice that I fight in my personal life. I came from a position of privilege and I was aware of this the whole time. But I also learned that the motivations behind sex work are as diverse as the workers themselves. You cannot think of sex work in limiting singular terms and this was a revelation for me that didn’t actually occur until I smacked the ass of a client and a smile crossed my face.
As I bent a grown man over my lap for a spanking I couldn’t fight the urge to laugh and in fact, I did. I used my laughter as part of his session. He wanted a small amount of humiliation, but he didn’t want abusive language and to be honest I was at a bit of a loss as just what to say. As a novice this was a hard line for me to walk, especially without my mentor there to help guide me. Laughter seemed natural to me and as I became more comfortable with the session, so did my client.
By the end I was proud that my client enjoyed himself so much because I knew that I had done my job well and that I had not disappointed my mentor who would be getting a full report. I also learned that sex work required certain talents that not every person possesses and that most of all I had to feel strong and confident about myself in order to be successful. I felt proud of myself afterward because I have always believed that you should approach every task to the best of your ability and having done that, there was no reason to feel shame. Beforehand I was worried that I would feel cheapened or ridiculous but almost immediately I felt an evolution in my ideas about sexuality. I understood that the spectrum of human sexuality is entirely unlimited and that this was a beautiful thing.
At what age did you entertain the first (serious) thoughts of going into sex work?
19
What made you decide to enter the line of work you’re in?
Now I am a bondage and fetish model doing both still and video work. Being a pro-domme was a lot of fun and I still play recreationally, but when I made the decision to eat healthy, walk or ride my bike everywhere, and work on my overall health I was proud of my body and I wanted to immortalize my youth. I know that I won’t always have the skin I’m in now and I’m thrilled to document my strength on video when I perform as a submissive because I know I won’t always be able to pull off the physical feats required of me and I love having lots of interesting photos of me to show off in the nursing home. I don’t feel degraded because I know that I can do things that most people are afraid of even considering. I feel less afraid of the world because I know what I can take and I know the extent of my strength.
I also love being able to show off a different type of body than most people see in porn. I wear my glasses in nearly every shoot I’m in because my thick frames are a part of me. I’ve worn glasses in the same style for over a decade now and without them I feel that I’ve lost a part of my personality- the geek, the intellectual, the book worm, and the thinker. I’m also short and I lack 6 pack abs. Although I’m a natural blonde, I dye my hair dark brown or black. I like being able to tell people that I do porn and have them reconsider their own notions of what it means to be a porn performer.
I am also a strong advocate for safer sex, so having the chance to eroticize condom use was another reason I decided to perform on camera. If porn can make non-performing women wax their pubic hair, bleach their genitals, and try new positions then maybe showing the world that condoms during sex can be normal and sexy can happen as well.
What do you enjoy most about your work?
I love the camaraderie among the models. I used to think of modeling as a world of cattiness and competition. While I would be lying to say there isn’t an element of competition among models, we treat each other as friends first and there are only problems when a true situation arises. We all understand the difficulties of the business and the veterans are always happy to share a trick of the trade to help you along your way.
It was a long time successful model who taught me that running a gel speed stick deodorant on my crotch would prevent any sign of razor burn on camera after I shaved my pubes. It was another model who helped me out when I had to do my first Boy/Girl scene while on my period. The friendships I’ve made with other porn models are so strong and intimate and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. There is no such thing as too much information when you put your bodies on the line and the stories we share are deep and life changing. Office chatter in the green room is like nothing else I’ve ever experienced in my life.
What do you like the least about your work?
Being judged solely on my looks is something I have problems with on a regular basis. I am an avid reader, a writer, and I pride myself on my intellect. Sometimes I have a hard time knowing that people are watching me just for my body without any regard to the dedication I have to my day job as an HIV test counselor or to the time I spend stretching my brain muscles. I also have my own ideas about female beauty and they don’t always match the industry I work in and I have some ambivalence about this.
Does your family know what you do? If so, what do they think?
Unfortunately, yes, my parents know. They are not happy about the situation, but they are working on accepting it. I know that they are currently in therapy which I hope will help them out with any other challenges they are facing in their life. I’m completely out of the closet when it comes to my work.
How much longer do you think you’ll do what you’re doing now, and what are your plans for when you quit?
I have other degrees I am planning on getting, but I do plan to continue modeling for a few more years. I hope to be a sex writer and educator for the rest of my life. I am applying for a joint MSW/MPH program so that I can keep on doing social work in HIV prevention. My day job as an HIV tester and counselor requires a lot of knowledge about sexuality and sex work. I credit my advancement and promotions to my personal experiences. I also spend a lot of time extending my formal knowledge of sexuality by volunteering with SFSI (San Francisco Sex Information), keeping up with sex in the news, and reading about sexuality in medical journals, non-fiction, and lots of erotica.
Describe your educational background.
I have a B.A. from a Bay Area UC where I studied modern literature and was one class short of completing my double major in anthropology as well. I am currently applying for a joint MSW/MPH. I have also spent cumulatively about 600 hours in training about sexuality through my work as an HIV test counselor over the period of 5 years and SFSI volunteer, and I just returned from greatest classroom in the world: a month and a half of doing health work as a volunteer in Eastern Africa.
If you had to go back and tell your younger self (mid to late teens) that you’d be doing what you’re doing now (assuming you’re still working in the sex industry), what do you think your younger self would say about it?
I don’t think I would have been that surprised that I would do pro-domme work because I was always curious about sexuality. As for doing porn, I wouldn’t believe myself because I felt chubby and awkward. I didn’t have an ounce of the self-confidence I have today.
But if I had the chance to go back and talk to my younger self, I would say to start modeling in porn the minute you turn 18 and invest your earnings before the recession hits. If I had done porn at age 18 with the mind I have now, I would have saved a great deal of money and still completed my B.A. I don’t think my younger self would have listened and really, it’s probably for the best. I got into the business at the right time for me.
What advice would you give someone who was looking to get into your line of sex work?
There is always room for every single age and body type in porn and it will be there for you when you’re ready for it. Don’t get into it if you’re trying to get even with someone and don’t do it to prove to someone that you’re attractive. Do it because you’re confident and an exhibitionist.
If you can’t enjoy doing porn or pro-domming, you shouldn’t be doing it at all and you really do have the option to wait. There isn’t a window of opportunity that you have to take advantage of right now or lose out on the chance. Some models and dommes are 18, others are 80. Many of my friends started in their 30s. There will always be a teen and a granny fetish so if you’re hesitant, take the time to make sure this is what you want because you will never have the option of taking it back.
My other bit of advice is to save money. The IRS will come calling to claim your earnings every April if you are paid with a check as porn models are. When I was pro-domming I didn’t have the same tax difficulties, but it is common for porn performers to forget to save part of their paycheck for the IRS because it will not be deducted when you are paid. In general you should always have your pennies saved for a rainy day.
You never know when your work will go through a dry spell or an emergency will happen. It may be tempting to use those big checks all at once, but be frugal. Also, make sure you have access to healthcare because pro-domming and porn won’t cover you when you need it and it especially won’t cover preventative health. If you can afford it, get private insurance. If you can’t, find a free clinic for people without insurance and don’t be ashamed to use it. When your body is your source of income, that means more than hair and nails. It also means vaccines, blood work, and regular check-ups to be the healthiest you can be.
Is Sex Work your main source of income?
No, sex work is not my primary source of income. By day I am the HIV Senior Specialist for a homeless youth agency that helps out with everything from health to education to housing to art. My advancement in the field of HIV prevention from volunteer test counselor, to clinic coordinator, to senior specialist has paralleled my journey into the world of sex work. I learn something from each field that helps me out in the other. I’m a better tester because of my sex work and I’m a better sex worker because of what I have learned from the health field. I think of myself as a 24/7 educator.
My passion and dedication to my day job does limit my work as a performer. I do not have the ability to travel for gigs or conventions so I only work locally. Although this is sometimes limiting, I’ve still had plenty of work opportunities especially as I continue to network. My boss does know that I am an active sex worker and I will never allow myself to be employed at an agency that isn’t sex positive.
Maggie’s Blog: Miss Maggie Mayhem
Maggie’s Twitter: @msmaggiemayhem
