What is(was) your professional/stage/working name?
Amanda Brooks (stripped for 4 years as Sonia)
What do you call yourself?
Sex worker or escort. On rare occasion, former stripper. Among friends, I often refer to myself as a hooker (if you’re not a friend, you don’t get to say it back).
What city(ies) do you work in now (if you’re still working), or did you work in (if no longer working in the sex industry)?
Most of my experience has been in Dallas, a good amount in Las Vegas and now beginning to have experiences in the rest of the world. I’m somewhat of a homeless person right now. Plane tickets and the Internet are essentials.
How old are you now?
33
At what age did you engage in your first professional sexual experience?
20, I think? It depends on what one considers to be “sex” and what one considers to be “payment”.
Describe your first professional sexual experience, including what happened, how you felt, what you were thinking, how you felt afterward.
As I discuss below, my sex work career has been a progression, a gradation. By the time I accepted my first tip at a bikini bar, I was only making money – not making a decision or crossing a line. When I got naked for a man in a hotel room and played with myself as a “model”, I wasn’t crossing a line, I was making money. Being naked on a bed with a street worker and her trick was a tryout, not crossing any sort of line. When I let a man suckle my nipples my first week stripping for an extra $5/dance (I was never a good hustler), I crossed a personal boundary line but only because I hadn’t controlled the transaction — not because I was crossing a paid/unpaid boundary for myself. I jacked off guys in the strip clubs later on, was well paid, controlled the transaction and never crossed a line (except the obvious legal ones).
When I had my first official appointment as Amanda Brooks, I crossed a massive societal line – but it was one of freedom. It was a eureka moment like nothing else except maybe losing my virginity. At that point, I was hardly getting paid for sex, I was getting well-paid to be myself.
And I have ever since.
[Ed. Note. You can find out more about Amanda's background HERE, HERE, and HERE]
At what age did you entertain the first (serious) thoughts of going into sex work?
Age 9 – though given my lack of real knowledge about prostitution I’m not sure how “serious” such thoughts could be considered. However, once the idea was in my head, it never left. Something clicked into place for me.
What made you decide to enter the line of work you’re in?
It’s been a progression — starting with that first feeling at 9yrs old, followed by finding as much information about this work as I could (not very much in a very Christian small town), followed by an examination of sexual mores among the people in my community, followed by sexual exploration in college and more examination of sexual mores coupled with more successful research of sex and sex work, followed by toe-dipping experiences until I began stripping, became burned out and tried escort work which formed the perfect fit for me.
In turn, my desire to master my new job led me to write the book series I’m currently in the middle of researching/writing, which led me to sex work activism. That has given me the strength to continue following my passions and begin the world travel, which is expanding my knowledge and experiences. Where that will lead is an open question.
Like I said, it’s a progression for me. Sex work is one of the places in my life that are not really binary.
What do you enjoy most about your work?
When it goes well – the freedom, independence, flexible schedule, the people I get to meet and learn. When it goes well, the job satisfaction is completely fulfilling and like no other job I’ve experienced. When it goes poorly it’s incredibly frustrating and maddening. Sometimes I get my feelings hurt. I haven’t experienced much real danger – contrary to popular belief.
What do you like the least about your work?
The social stigmas and legal issues that unnecessarily complicate my life and the lives of my colleagues. Bad clients are NOTHING compared to dealing with this shit.
Does your family know what you do? If so, what do they think?
Yes – from nearly Day 1. Tolerant (mother), actively supportive (sister). I don’t have a large family. People I consider to be my friends certainly know.
Let’s just say that being out of the closet shakes out those who really know and care about you from those who don’t need to be in your life anyway.
How much longer do you think you’ll do what you’re doing now, and what are your plans for when you quit?
I don’t know how much longer I want to rely on escort work as my main income because I have other interests I’d like to spend time on and develop (as opposed to all the indie-escort-admin work). I have a feeling I’ll see a small amount of clients for years to come, even if I take myself off the public market again in the future.
I did retire once for a relationship and leaving a job I love killed me. I worked on a number of things, mainly getting my publishing company started and writing/researching two books.
Though I feel a re-adjustment of my life approaching, sex work and sex work activism is something I strongly feel is a lifelong passion for me. I have no problem with this and if someone expects to be in my life, they need to not have a problem with it either.
If you had to go back and tell your younger self (mid to late teens) that you’d be doing what you’re doing now (assuming you’re still working in the sex industry), what do you think your younger self would say about it?
How can I start now?!!!!
What advice would you give someone who was looking to get into your line of sex work?
Research, research, research. Understand the demands of the job so you can understand if this job will actually suit you or not – sex work is not for everyone and every form of sex work is not for every sex worker. If you think it will suit you, sit down and have a long hard think about how you will deal with the stigmas, possible legal consequences, online community and all the other bull that comes along with what should be a very simple career. Once you think you have a handle on all THAT…then you can start picking out your stage name and get into the fun stuff.
Always have the word “no” at the tip of your tongue. There is no one else who will better protect you than YOU.
Safe, sane, successful – it’s the motto for my book series because I believe it’s the best way to be an escort. Most escorts are only escorts for a few years and they should leave the business at the top, not hurt or broken. Leaving with your SELF intact is successful – mores o than having a house and car or lots of expensive shoes.
Amanda’s Book Series Site: Escort MBA
Amanda’s Personal Blog: Texas Golden Girl
Amanda’s Twitter: @amanda_brooks
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Amanda you’re a serious inspiration, really.