What is(was) your stage or professional name?
Ms. Justine
How old are you now?
26
At what age did you engage in your first professional sexual experience?
24
Describe your first professional sexual experience, including what happened, how you felt, what you were thinking, how you felt afterward.
Even though I wanted to be a Domme, and had played a top for many years in my personal life, the dungeon I began at had me start as a submissive. It was very odd. I remember sitting all day in the lobby wearing the appropriate pastels and white collar waiting for a walk-in. I finally got one at the end of the day. He wanted to do an interrogation scene and blindfold me. The other women had seen him before and agreed he would be a good “first” for me.
I had been mentally preparing myself for typical submissive activities like corporal punishment, but I wasn’t as prepared to make up stuff on the fly when he was asking me things about where I grew up and when I first had sex. It was a pretty easy gentle session and of course I developed an instant school girl “client crush” on him. It was immediately shattered the next day when he wanted me to give him a hand job. I was really pissed. I thought, Who the hell is this guy? Is he a john? Does he session with all the new girls as a spy to see if they will make trouble? Furthermore, I didn’t really want to be associated with a dungeon where other women stepped outside BDSM into blatant prostitution. It turned out to be a fluke. I mean, certainly other men asked for more and other girls did more, but all in all, most were on the straight and narrow. Well, as much as you can be for working in a dungeon.
At what age did you entertain the first (serious) thoughts of going into sex work?
I was 17. I remember it distinctly. I was very open with my sexuality, and also very aggressive and strong-willed. My friends thought I would make a great dominatrix. For my birthday, I got “I was a Teenage Dominatrix.” I was totally into it. I thought, I could do this! But the next few years were all about traveling and school. I also wasn’t in the right headspace to be a professional sex worker.
What made you decide to enter the line of work you’re in?
It was something I felt I could be really fantastic at doing. I had always been a top in my relationships; I enjoyed psychological torture and all the toys! I never really got into vibrators–a whip in my hand just felt better. I’ve thought about other sex work, but this just seems to fit me best. I could do something that I was great at and that was pretty lucrative, so why not? It also helped that I had the support of a partner at the time who wasn’t into the lifestyle; I think that helped keep me more balanced. My friends are also very supportive. Most people who know me, know that when I say I’m going to do something, its going to be done.
What do you enjoy most about your work?
Two things 1) really connecting with a client and 2) all the kick ass Beautiful Ladies I have met. When I’m doing a session with a client, particularly if he is new, there’s always a bit of nervous tension in the air as we feel each other out, but I set up my sessions to build slowly and then get really intense. Making someone’s fantasy come true gives me great joy, especially when it has the added benefit of turning me on!
Since working in this industry, I have met some of the coolest, kinkiest, yet down to earth women you will ever find. I think, Where have YOU been all my life? Some have since receded from the public eye as pro-dommes, but its refreshing to instantly be connected with a bunch of intelligent, strong women who all have cats.
What do you like the least about your work?
Wankers, time wasters, hagglers. I am a professional. I just wonder how they treat other professionals in their life. Do you call your doctor for weeks dancing around an appointment? Do you not show up for your therapy session? Do you haggle with your lawyer over the price of his services? It goes beyond “sex workers are people too” but more into “sex workers are workers too.” Fortunately, I can weed out most of those people and just delete them from existence. I’m very lucky that so far, nothing terrible has happened to me which I owe to my strict screening policy, but I have heard some horror stories from other professionals.
Does your family know what you do? If so, what do they think?
I never intended to tell my family about what I do, there’s just some things they don’t need to know about, but last Christmas I told my father. For some reason he’s hot to trot on me selling my eggs. I guess he thinks that my eggs would fetch a high price on the market being that I am tall, attractive, white and college educated with a high SAT score. But as a feminist and environmentalist who finds the (in)fertility craze obnoxious at best and destroying any hope for ultimate survival at worst, I’m insulted by his constant efforts to market my eggs. After this latest suggestion, I told him I wasn’t going to sell my eggs because I make more money beating guys up instead. He takes a moment to reflect and then says, “Do you pee on people too? Because that is some kinky shit. I don’t think I could get into that.” (He absolutely did not make the double entendre of “kinky shit” on purpose, which may make his statement all the more amusing.) At which point, I thought we had our discussion and subject was closed.
I was on the phone with him a few months later and said, Just so you know, I left my commercial dungeon to go independent. Silence. Then he says, I’m not sure what that means. I said, Remember that conversation we had over Christmas? Silence. Response: Uh, kinda. (He has no idea). What were we talking about? I told you I was a dominatrix. A what? [He can't hear me] A dominatrix, I say, slightly louder in my crowded cafe with fans blasting and Bollywood music in the backround. What? [He still can't hear me] A dominatrix! a dominatrix! a dominatrix! I shout back. (I’m sure the cafe’s patrons love me.) Oh. My daughter . . . is a dominatrix . . . (and then he giggles furiously.)
How much longer do you think you’ll do what you’re doing now, and what are your plans for when you quit? If you’ve already left, what made you decide to leave and what did you decide to do for work when you left?
I don’t see an end any time soon; I’m just moving with the ebb and flow of both the current economy and my personal life. I have a lot of other things going on in my life that keep me balanced. My consistent life goal is to write which I do as both a sex worker and in my vanilla life. Occasionally I have fantasies about being a college professor but every time I interact with a grad student, that fantasy gets squashed. With the recession, I am expanding my repertoire into more phone and webcam sessions which I didn’t do before.
If you had to go back and tell your younger self (mid to late teens) that you’d be doing what you’re doing now (assuming you’re still working in the sex industry), what do you think your younger self would say about it?
I’d chuckle and say, I’m not surprised.
What advice would you give someone who was looking to get into your line of sex work?
Don’t. I feel like, in a certain sense, this line of work is dying. People who are into BDSM make up a small portion of the population; those willing and able to pay for it is even smaller. With the advent of the internet and mainstream clubs catering to BDSM, it makes it a lot easier for kinksters to find each other and not enlist the services of a professional. Many dungeons have shut down; none are opening up in their place.
Many Dommes have been ruthlessly and needlessly persecuted, especially in New York. Once more, during the recession, several other factors come into play that really effect all sex work: 1) with less cash flow, less people are able to pay for luxury services, 2) travel budgets are cut thus people who only play when out of town disappear, 3) more women enter the sex industry to flood the market, and 4) many women will do more for less. I also think this goes with the fact there seems to be more stigma and secrecy attached to BDSM as it is a dark little secret for many.
However, if you still want to get into this line of work, understand that it is a business and you are selling yourself–all the typical rules of business still apply. Specific to BDSM, be very clear about your boundaries, both for yourself and your clients. Make sure you know your local laws. Making friends with an experienced Domme in the area is always a good bet. But above all, please be safe. <3
Ms. Justine’s Professional Site: Mistress Justine Cross
Ms. Justine’s Blog: Ms. Justine
Ms. Justine on Twitter: @Justineplays
